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My Dog – It’s Gone! What Now?

Tabitha Naylor : April 8, 2014 8:00 am : Online Dating

lost dogYou let your dog out in the fenced yard like you do every morning. You go to let them in, and they’re gone. Panic sets in and the scrambling starts. You start walking through the neighborhood looking and if you’re lucky, your dog hasn’t gotten very far and you find it. But after hours of walking or driving around with no luck, what do you do? Don’t give up hope; there are ways to track down your lost partner.

For Chipped Dogs

If your dog has a microchip, call the recovery hotline for that chip. Most of the microchips are either Home Again or AVID. Both have a 24-hour service for lost and found pets. When you call, have your dog’s ID number handy: it’s the first thing they will ask for.

Make and Distribute Flyers

Using a picture of your dog, make a simple flyer with a picture of the dog, a bit about them, and at least one way to contact you, such as a phone number and email address. You can add a small reward, too. Make the print big. People need to be able to see it from their cars. Once created, do the following:

  • Make copies at least 30
  • Buy a package of sheet protectors and a roll of duct tape
  • At EVERY intersection close to your home, post a flyer, in a sheet protector, and make sure you post on all corners so you can catch drivers coming and going in any direction. Remember where you post them so you can retrieve them when your dog is home safe.
  • If you have stores nearby with bulletin boards, post a flyer there
  • Drop off a copy at the local police department
  • Take a copy to the local animal shelter
  • Give a copy to neighbors
  • Use the Internet

There are a number of places on the internet to post that your dog is missing. Petfinders.com is a good place to start. They post to places like Facebook and get the exposure out there. You can also post to Facebook, as well. If you post to groups, look for ones that are made up of people from your local area.

Once the Word is Out There

Now comes the hardest part: waiting. Make sure to put food and water outside somewhere your dog can get to easily if he or she tries to come home on their own. Call the shelter and animal control a few times a day to check in to see if anyone has brought in a stray. It’s important to keep checking, especially if your dog is not chipped, collared or tagged.

The faster you get the word out the dog is missing, the better your chances of finding him. It’s a very upsetting and frustrating situation to be in, but don’t get caught up in self-blame or guilt. Just get to work hunting them down and bringing your dog home safe. Once your dog is found, don’t forget to go back out and take down all search flyers, and let places like the police department know the animal has been recovered.

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You’re Just Not That In To Them

Tabitha Naylor : April 3, 2014 8:00 am : Online Dating

happinessAs scary as the thought of being “forever alone” is, the thought of being stuck with someone you don’t particularly like is even scarier. At least alone, it is YOU who controls your happiness. When you are attached to someone you don’t want to be with, you allow THEM the power to make you unhappy.

It’s a fact of life that you will not get along with every single person that you meet. That doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with you – or with them. It just means that your ideals, values and way of looking at the world are different enough that compatibility is low. Usually, not caring much for another person doesn’t affect your day-to-day living. If it’s someone from your job that you don’t like, you simply avoid them. If you don’t care for a cashier at the grocery store, you go at a different time or pick a different line.

However, things get a little more complicated when it comes to romantically sticking by someone you don’t like. You may think it’s crazy that anyone would stay partners with someone that they don’t like, but the truth is that it is quite easy to fall into this type of situation. Sometimes, you may think you know what someone is like, but it turns out you were wrong. This can happen because you didn’t really see a person for who they are; other times, it may be a case of a partner “pretending” to be someone else in order to gain affection. Either way, at some point, the façade falls, and you are left in a life with someone you don’t want to be with.

There are also instances of couples who have been together for many, many years, only to find themselves drifting apart later in life. This behavior also has its own unique causes, which might include one partner having a crisis of identity or one partner straying from the relationship.

No matter the reason one might find themselves stuck in a relationship with a person they are just not “in” to, it’s important to realize that there are only two ways to address the situation: stick it out or leave. Sticking it out isn’t to say that one must put up with a life that they aren’t satisfied with, but rather, staying in a relationship in the hopes that the partners can reconnect and find common ground.

In most cases, the best thing to do when you’re in a relationship with someone you aren’t passionate about it is to leave. This isn’t always easy. You may not like the idea of being the one who “dumps” the other. You may have already established a life with the other person, include marriage, a house or kids. Other times, you may think that being alone is worse than being stuck in an unhappy relationship. No matter your reasons, remember that you aren’t truly being fair to the other person if you’re going to spend your days pretending to like them, or worse, making it very clear that you don’t, but still refusing to leave.

Breakups are hard, but they are significantly easier when you’re honest with yourself and leave for the betterment of yourself and your former partner. You can always remain friendly with an ex; just because they aren’t the ideal romantic partner doesn’t mean that they can’t be a wonderful friend. And best, you allow both of you the opportunity to find someone who will be able to fully fill your heart with love.

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The Dreaded Dating Profile

Tabitha Naylor : April 1, 2014 8:00 am : Online Dating

keyboardFor all of the attention and glory that online dating gets, none of it would be possible if it wasn’t for one single thing: the dating profile. The dating profile is a snapshot of a person, meant to highlight the “important things” so that potential mates can learn about a man or woman and decide if they would like to know more. If you’re one of the lucky ones, you have probably filled out numerous dating profiles in minutes. If you’re like most, you have probably spent hours on various profiles and never have truly felt satisfied with how they turned out.

Why is it so hard to fill out a dating profile? The questions asked and the information requested are truly the easiest in the world, because it’s all you, and who knows you better than yourself? Despite this fact, millions struggle with answering the simplest of queries because they over-think the process. The key to successfully filling out a dating profile is simply being honest.

When many people start answering the questions on dating profiles, such as “what are your hobbies?” or “what is your idea of an ideal date?”, they tend to answer the questions in a way that they think will satisfy others. They answer these questions based on what they think others want to hear, and to an extent, to please the kinds of people that they want to be around. Women who have never hiked before may list it as an interest because they are seeking a man who is physically fit and strong. Of course, should they meet a man who happens to love hiking, there are bound to be problems because he is expecting to spend time with someone who can keep up with him on trails and is instead suffering through a long afternoon with a woman who is complaining about blisters.

What is the solution to mishaps such as these? Just be honest. Don’t pretend to like or dislike things because you are concerned with how others will perceive you. After all, you are on a dating website because you want to meet someone who will enjoy spending time with you because they like the kind of person that you are. Don’t feign interest in activities that you don’t care for, and certainly don’t try to hide your own interests because you fear you will be judged for them. What will inevitably happen is that you will meet someone who will take you at face value – that is, the way you portrayed yourself on your dating profile – and conflicts will arise when it turns out that the two of you aren’t really compatible.

If you feel like you have to hide who you really are when filling out a dating profile, it may be time to step back from the dating world for a while. You are lacking in confidence, and worse, you are lacking in self love. It is impossible to love another person, to embrace another person and all of their flaws and perfections, if you don’t first love your own. Once you have taken the time to get to know yourself and feel proud of who you are, you will find that filling out a personal questionnaire like those on dating websites is as easy as saying your name.

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Step Outside The Norm… And Take A Chance

Tabitha Naylor : March 27, 2014 8:00 am : Online Dating

loveDo friends and family try to find you dates? Do you think someone is not your type because they like a different breed of dog? You know you have been guilty of it at some time in your dating history.  Everyone has at one time or another.

Do you tell yourself “I will only date a person that owns a big dog and has a techy job?” He must be 6’4″ and drive a mustang. Well, it’s time you take off those blinders, open your mind and your heart and see what you have been missing.

Do you find with online dating you see someone that grabs your attention, but as you read on you see that they just don’t meet that perfect partner checklist living in your head? Yes, sometimes there are a few personality traits you absolutely cannot live with, but is your whole checklist like that? Are you afraid that by branching out a little, you’ll become a closeted opera nut or decide that you will never, ever go back to that strange restaurant downtown?

There is nothing wrong being picky, but don’t write a person off automatically, just because they don’t seem to be the perfect fit. Why sabotage your chances, profiles are guidelines; you can’t get everything in there. If someone peaks your interest, send them a private message, or strike up a conversation in a chat room. You may be pleasantly surprised to find they have the similar goals and beliefs but didn’t know how to put it into their profile.

Think about it, have you ever noticed that finding the same type of person seems to end in the same pattern? Don’t you think it’s time to get out of that rut? It can be a little uncomfortable in the beginning to try something or someone new. Start small, maybe someone with different hobbies is a good start. Look at it as a change to learn something new. Even something that simple can give you a good place to start up a conversation.

Talk to those who catch your attention, see if they share similar core beliefs such as generosity and dependability. You already know they love dogs just by being on YouMustLoveDogsDating.com. But don’t get caught up in the ‘little stuff’ like eating different foods or have different hobbies. You may find someone who isn’t your ideal partner on the outside, but you could share long-term beliefs and goals.

Worst case scenario, you meet a few people who ultimately don’t work out, but you get the opportunity to add new traits to that “perfect person” list inside your head. Maybe you’ll find that going to concerts — which you were always nervous about — is actually quite fun or that you don’t really like bingo as much as you thought you might. These are all experiences that not only further shape who you are, but give you a broader idea of what you’re looking for (or not looking for) in another person.

What have you got to lose? Take a chance. You never know what may happen.

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Your Date Just Canceled – It’s Not The End Of The World (and Probably Not Your Relationship)

Tabitha Naylor : March 25, 2014 11:17 am : Online Dating

reserved-tableYou’ve been looking forward to your special night out all week. You’ve just touched up your outfit and are looking for our keys when the text message comes in:

So sorry, need to reschedule!

As the keys fall out of your hand and you stare dumbfounded at the phone, all you can think is, “what?” Once you’re able to sit down and process, a million questions fly through your head. If you were feeling calm and reasonable, the first would be, “Is everything okay?” Instead, you are feeling hurt and vulnerable, so your questions are more along the lines of, “what did I do?” and “why?”

Rejection is a tough thing to handle, no matter how confident and self-assured you are. In addition, when a relationship is still new and exciting, being cast aside – especially suddenly and with no immediate reason – can seem like the worst rejection you’ve ever faced. If and when you find yourself in this type of situation, there are two things you need to remember: there’s always a reason, and no matter that reason, things usually work out.

Most of the time, when one person needs to suddenly cancel a date, it’s because an emergency situation has arisen. This can include becoming ill, needing to rush to another person’s aid or even having to suddenly run into work. The fact that your date took the time to contact you – however brief or vague – means that they value you enough to keep you informed. They could have just as easily passed up sending a text or leaving a message, allowing you to show up for the expected date only to find no one waiting for you.

The first thing you should do after being canceled on is take a deep breath. Then take another. Resist the urge to feel upset, put off, angry or sad. Instead, try to remain neutral and open; after all, you don’t have enough facts to warrant an appropriate reaction just yet.

Next, respond to the message. If you received a text, send one back; if it was a call, try calling back and leave a voicemail if you don’t reach anyone. In your reply, acknowledge that you received the initial message. Don’t try to press for too many details right away, but let your date know that you are available to talk whenever they have a moment. Don’t try to guilt your date for canceling. Guilt is the last thing you want to saddle on someone who has just been in a car accident or is waiting to hear news about a loved one in the hospital.

The next part is the hardest: you wait. As much as you may want to hear back from your date right away, that may just may not happen. As a matter of fact, you might not hear back until the next day, and depending on the severity of the emergency, it could even be several days. The best thing to do is accept the fact that you are not going on a date and find something else to do. Call some friends and see if they want to have dinner or go see that movie you’ve been hearing about.

When you finally do hear back from you date, let them explain. They are going to feel terrible for having canceled on you, and they are going to want to tell you what happened. Chances are, they are also going to want to make it up to you.

Relationships will always have their bumps; it’s the way you handle those bumps – either with patience and understanding or with anger and close-mindedness – that dictate how comfortably (or uncomfortably) the ride will go.

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